Waking Up

When I started dating a vanilla woman last year, several kinky ladies made what I thought at the time were over-the-top predictions of my future. "You're kinky, don't try to pretend otherwise," was the general sentiment. "But good luck, anyway." Yes, they are my friends and I appreciate the concern.

I'm drifting from that relationship now, mostly due to kink. I'm submissive. I need that in my relationship. I need to be accepted for who I am, including my cross-dressing and my need to serve and my fetishy nature. Vanilla just isn't going to cut it for me; I need a really interesting woman in my life or no one at all.

These revelations have lead me to the local "scene," finally stepping out the front door with my kink after over forty years of holding it in. I'm no "player," having only attended one function so far, but I'm slowly letting go of fears and barriers to happiness. We all have to do it some time. I am learning so much and finding such supportive people. Not sure at this point what my "style" is, and I have not yet begun to play, but I have a desire to learn and may have found someone to try playing with at some point when we are both ready.

That's a huge arc to have traveled in a year, and I'm happy to still be in flight. I hope there are many comments to make here as I continue to learn and understand more every day.

And to those who were so vehement about what you thought would make me happy, thank you for caring. I wasn't ignoring you, I just needed something at that moment that over-rode my thinking brain. Be well, everyone.

QL