Hunger

I've been fortunate to have been involved in more than one startup company, and I have to say I like the environment. There's a sense that one is inches from the brass ring in front, with the hounds nipping at heels in back. It's peak performance, sometimes desperation, always exhilarating. Everybody is hungry. They are willing to do extraordinary things, and it's rarely only about the money.

Recently I participated in a short (by some standards) experiment in chastity. It was only a couple of weeks, but that was highly unusual for me. I'm accustomed to doing what I want, no consequences. The last time I went a week without self-pleasuring was probably several presidents ago. But I found that as I slipped deeper into the submissive trance that is male chastity, the feeling I developed can best be described as sexually hungry. I wanted something that I couldn't have. And I thought about it in the background all the time.

Oddly, the thoughts were not just about getting off. More, they were about why I wasn't doing something about it when there wasn't even a cage, tube, or teeth preventing me. The only thing stopping me was the trust placed in me that I would not. As I stewed in my hormones, biology telling me in no uncertain terms to DO SOMETHING, it struck me that while I wanted to cum, I needed to obey.

Choosing is setting priorities. I chose to remain chaste until told otherwise and reveled in the sensations that choice caused in my submissive circuitry. Instead of blowing off a little steam now and again, I was experiencing a boiler, temperature and pressure rising. I was hungry to explode, more so not to. I felt tuned and ready, as unselfish as I know how to be; peak performance, desperate, exhilarated.

Now I'm under no restrictions -- experiment over -- and there is no pressure for long. Even if I imposed restrictions on myself, the directive and the object of obedience would not be there. But I've tasted it and so cannot forget. I'll always want to be there again, hungry and as unabashedly myself as I know how to be.

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