Thursday, August 4, 2011

I Might Be Kinky

I've been traveling a bit lately for work. This creates an artificial cycle to my sexuality. Mostly I'm so busy that I just want sleep by the time I drag into the hotel at night, too few hours before the alarm is going to go off. I don't have much desire -- particularly early in the week -- and I don't use my work laptop for surfing personally. So I'm kind of cut off from anything sexual. It's a bizzarre sexual desert that I start coming out of while traveling home. By the time I come through the front door of my house, I feel like there is something major pent up and I need to play a bit.

So I play, and I reach out and explore for a few hours. I dress, I read, and I enjoy myself. It feels like relief from a short stint in chastity, expression released out of built-up need.

It feels good.

Oddly, I'm working closely with one of the most stunningly beautiful women I've ever known. She's my total opposite, though, on some critical points. Not only do we work together, but her views on religion and relationships make me not interested enough to even worry about what personal/professional distance is "respectful." Just not interested. She's very sweet, good at what she does, and -- in case I wasn't clear enough on this point -- mind-blowingly, drop-dead, heart-stoppingly beautiful. So being around her feels strange. Any whif that she might have an interest in any form of dominance would probably cause my brain to explode. As it is, I feel like my mind is under yet another layer of chastity.

Yes, it's strange.

But it's oddly nice. I work hard all week, then relax very thoroughly on the weekend and attend to my needs. I feel good about letting things out. It feels like a sexual vacation. It's been three weeks of this and things are about to change. I never would have predicted such a strange brew of feelings and sensations.

Maybe I'm kinky or something.

QL