*ouch* *smile*

More play. Yay!!!

This time it had a slightly different character to it. She seemed less constrained and cautious, a bit more sure of what I could take and what I liked. That in itself felt good, that she was feeling out boundaries and enjoying herself in the clear space between.

Some of it, quite frankly, hurt a bit. At one point I started to sweat a little, a single musky rivulet running down the inside of my arm. The *swish* noises were louder and followed by heftier *thud*s, and she kept going where previously she would have paused and checked in. She experimented freely with new implements, asked for descriptions of sensations, feeling again for those crucial edges while checking depth at various points. We tried a couple of new things, found success with pushing some things we'd tried before. Minor hiccups along the way, of course -- I developed an internal cramp after some time and couldn't tell how serious it was at first -- but honesty and communication make up for much.

If I had to sum up the experience, I'd say that I felt played with and enjoyed, and I LOVED that sensation. I could almost feel the barriers coming down, and I started to dive into sub space again for the first time in ages. I find myself wanting that, needing it, reveling in the idea of dwelling there for a time.

Comfortable in my discomfort is a good place to be. Doing that while being a pleasure to someone else is a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

It's good to be sexually alive again.

QL

New Opportunities

I was introduced to someone recently, a "quick" coffee that ended up taking well over an hour. Losing time at a first meeting is a good sign. We met up again for some more substantial time together, then again for dinner. She's a warm and interesting person, and I get along with her very well.

And she's kinkier in her way than I am.

We had several solid conversations about kink, about likes/dislikes/needs/fears. There's nothing like sitting in a room and having an actual conversation about these things -- openly and directly -- with someone to build calm and trust. Even I was getting a little impatient to play. That, too, is a good sign.

So last weekend I spent several hours in her home. As is my practice, I will not provide a play-by-play of what we did. But there was much mutual button-pushing, exquisite touch and a little pain, laughter during and talking after. It's a good base to build on, safety and trust as the best of all starting points.

We're independent people, not driving to a pre-determined relationship goal. But the outlines are starting to form around what could be a beautifully sexual D/s relationship. The openness and directness make it easy to be here, drama kept skulking in the shadows by the light of communication. I had been told that this was "out there" somewhere. For the first time in a long time, I'm starting to believe it.

No idea where from here, but the nice thing is that I'm happy to take the ride and see where it takes me.

QL