Skillz

It's not just Dominants who need to have skills for successful D/s play.  There are things that can make a submissive more "ready" to submit.  Lately, I've been playing with some of these as much for something to do sexually as for any particular purpose or expectation.

1:  Working regularly in what I call "maid mode," I've been exercising my "servant skills."  This regular embodiment of the attitude, personality, and presentation of an excellent, hardworking, and obedient housemaid allows me to enter into and stay productive in that role when called upon to do so.  I consider it a privilege to be in service to a Domme I respect and prefer to do "heavy" work (cleaning) in blocks of two to four hours and personal service for longer.  This means I need to be capable of being effective and focused on my role for those time frames, and be able to move effectively and naturally in the dress and heels.  I get annoyed at submissives who just want to dress up, wave a feather duster around a bit, then whine for a hand job.  They give the maid role a terrible reputation when it should be one of the most sought after and prized by Dommes.

2:  Wearing a chastity device requires stepped conditioning over time, as much as two to four weeks to accustom the body to long-term wear.  I've begun the process of training my body to wear a device without unnecessary chaffing or rash.  I'm currently not locked full time, but spending every other day or so wearing my Holy Trainer 2.  I don't like the idea of being locked up "permanently," but I would like to bring the greatest capability possible to any situation.

3:  Sexual control is a key aspect of almost any relationship a submissive will be in.  Chastity is a HUGE help here -- I put on my device when I start feeling strong arousal coming on -- but it isn't the end of the story.  I haven't had a full orgasm in over a week.  Instead, once the sexual tension builds up and I decide to grant myself relief, I use a Hitachi Magic Wand against my chastity device and a prostate massager to "take the edge off."  Being aroused and penetrated while locked is a thoroughly submissive experience, very different from a full orgasm.  It's similar to a "ruined" orgasm or "milking" and occurs deeper inside the body and emotions than a full ejaculation.  Feelings of post-relief regret are MUCH less pronounced than with an orgasm, and the refractory period is either nonexistent or very short.  Not only do I usually remain in a mostly submissive mindset, but I feel relieved that I do.  I'm experimenting to see if this type of relief is sufficient over a long period of time since it does move fluids and exercises some of the key plumbing.  Being easy to control and sexually maintain in a very submissive headspace could be a very attractive quality in a submissive, particularly if cuckolding is involved.

4:  I've set one of my computers up to display tasteful photos of women on a very slow rotation.  (No nudes or directly sexual photos!)  The simple presence of femininity in my universe keeps me feeling docile, a feeling I absolutely love.  This makes me feel grateful that I am so vulnerable and easy to manipulate, and that motivates me to be a better submissive.  The near-constant low-level arousal makes me crave being locked up so I don't orgasm in a selfish way.  It's a low-power, high-need state, and it makes me feel like a ripe fruit ready to be picked, helpless to do anything about it.  I like it a LOT.

So these are my current experiments in building submissive "skills."  Clearly, they are more mental and emotional than physical, but the ability to employ the physical aspects are key to being more "real" as a submissive, not just another selfish wanker.  Dommes get a bazillion of those.  I want to be far, far more.

Hunger

I've been fortunate to have been involved in more than one startup company, and I have to say I like the environment. There's a sense that one is inches from the brass ring in front, with the hounds nipping at heels in back. It's peak performance, sometimes desperation, always exhilarating. Everybody is hungry. They are willing to do extraordinary things, and it's rarely only about the money.

Recently I participated in a short (by some standards) experiment in chastity. It was only a couple of weeks, but that was highly unusual for me. I'm accustomed to doing what I want, no consequences. The last time I went a week without self-pleasuring was probably several presidents ago. But I found that as I slipped deeper into the submissive trance that is male chastity, the feeling I developed can best be described as sexually hungry. I wanted something that I couldn't have. And I thought about it in the background all the time.

Oddly, the thoughts were not just about getting off. More, they were about why I wasn't doing something about it when there wasn't even a cage, tube, or teeth preventing me. The only thing stopping me was the trust placed in me that I would not. As I stewed in my hormones, biology telling me in no uncertain terms to DO SOMETHING, it struck me that while I wanted to cum, I needed to obey.

Choosing is setting priorities. I chose to remain chaste until told otherwise and reveled in the sensations that choice caused in my submissive circuitry. Instead of blowing off a little steam now and again, I was experiencing a boiler, temperature and pressure rising. I was hungry to explode, more so not to. I felt tuned and ready, as unselfish as I know how to be; peak performance, desperate, exhilarated.

Now I'm under no restrictions -- experiment over -- and there is no pressure for long. Even if I imposed restrictions on myself, the directive and the object of obedience would not be there. But I've tasted it and so cannot forget. I'll always want to be there again, hungry and as unabashedly myself as I know how to be.

Quietlisten