I've been thinking a lot lately about what I care about. That's not the same as "what I want," but what drives me and makes me think and feel. There are some major quandaries that I've been trying to reconcile:
1) I love strong, confident, capable women... but I detest gruff and unsophisticated women who bark whims and take offense easily.
2) I love to support smart women, taking on a subordinate role to help them achieve worthwhile and well-thought-out goals... but I ruffle at having my identity or independence diminished to the point where the ONLY thing I am is an accessory.
This is a difficult dance: power exchange but not life-diminishing in effect, feminine dominance of the relationship without the need to simply flip maledom roles. The most wonderful sensation in the world is looking at a woman, being attracted to her (the person, not just physically), and feeling the "click" of the switch inside that makes me need to support her.
That "click" isn't just a nice-to-have occasional neat thing. It's not some adjunct aspect of sexual arousal. It's deep in the mind and it's wonderfully entwined with my identity. It IS sex. Anything she may want of me physically comes out of that feeling, otherwise it's a sad sham and sure to be short lived.
And she has to know that this power is hers. She has to know that it's earned, not just handed out to anyone. If that switch has been thrown in my brain, then she's beyond special.
Let's dance.
