Asides and Experiments

I've been locking myself up more often, trying to get used to wearing my CB for longer periods of time.  The intent has been to get to the point that I can wear it long term.  The actual wearing has been successful so far, but that is mostly just an aside.

The Aside

I have learned that anatomically, I'm not ideal for this sort of thing.  It can be done, it's just not easy.  My "range of states" is quite broad, so flaccid to erect is about a 6x growth in length and 2x in diameter.  When nature kicks off that process, it becomes a hydraulic nightmare trapped in a flimsy plastic container.  Comfort in one state is incompatible with the other.

At the same time, experiments with base ring sizes -- the part that goes snug against the torso and keeps the whole kit in place -- shows that small and medium-sized rings cut off nourishing blood flow from the dangly bits.  I need a larger ring.  This means that the whole contraption is less snug and more able to slide in ways that are painful.  Ow.  This would explain why I have such problems with nocturnal wear.

Feature Functionality

Just for kicks, I've been using a site called keysafe.  This has a set of features to allow keyholders and device wearers to interact with varying levels of control over locking mechanisms.  The control spans from "honor system" to safes that are connected to the Internet and report any tampering or unauthorized access.  It's a very hot idea.

One feature is designed for wearers without a keyholder, I suspect a majority of the site's users.  This is a virtual keyholder who will provide authority over your key according to parameters you set at any level of security including full control of your automated safe.  One parameter is whether or not other site users can vote for the virtual keyholder to increase or decrease your time locked.

Experience

I decided to lock myself away and turn authority over to the virtual keyholder.  A couple of hours later, someone I never met voted to increase my time locked.  Then someone else did the same thing.  And another.  These are people I have never interacted with, don't know, and can't even tell much about from their profiles.  It was both self-professed "Dominants" and a locked guy, too.  No comments, no introductions, no explanation, just voting to increase.

To say that I was scratching my head over this is understating.  I finally posted a note asking if this was the site's way of saying "hello."  One person responded that, hey, yeah, I guess it is.  I mean... WHAT?!

Verification

There is another feature of the site that verifies that accounts claiming to be women really are women.  (Apparently, they do this via a one-time video chat.)  As anyone who has been around online D/s knows, most "Dommes" -- particularly those demanding money -- are men, so this is a welcome feature.  But very few of the female profiles on the site are verified.

This begs the question:  if someone expects me to go through the discomfort and discipline and annoyance of being locked up, why can't they take a moment to get verified?  One answer is obvious:  they're not who they say they are and couldn't pass even the lowest verification bar.  But if they are who they present, then it's even worse... they can't be bothered.  So why even consider them to be "Dominant?"

Next Steps

I'm still interested in learning and playing with this, but there are a few things running through my mind:
1)  The fantasy of months-long lockup is not my cup of tea.  Days to build up frustration for a bonding experience, and I'm all in.  Denial just for the sake of it would have to have a very serious relationship layer to make it worth while.  And there are negative health issues with long-term lockup.
2)  The relationship is everything.  I can see being in a power-only relationship to some extent, but the control of sexuality and containment of neediness along with the desperate vulnerability it brings speaks to a bond, not just a manipulation.
3)  There is another device I may try before long to see if the limitations mentioned above are device-specific or can be overcome with better design.
4)  Unfortunately, I'll be doing some traveling for a while.  At least at first, I won't be able to be locked up a lot.  The schedule is unclear, but this is an unforeseen wrinkle.  I'm sure I'll roll with it somehow.

So, more learning and more figuring out.  This is a nice and private way to experiment and play.  I've even met some people who may be interested in something a little more real-time.  Oh, no... not real!  Haha.

Rant on Writing

Sloppiness in writing is just another way to say "I want each and every reader to fix the mistakes that I'm too lazy to notice or correct."  Either that or it's the author's way to say "I want the world to know how ignorant I am and I want to make a permanent record of that fact."

The three most common mistakes in writing -- including captioning -- and how to fix them:

"Woman" is a single individual (singular); "women" is more than one (plural).

"Dominate" is an action (verb) where something is being done, such as "she liked to dominate her subs."  "Dominant" is either a description (adjective) such as "she has dominant tendencies" or a title / address (noun) such as "she is a dominant."

An apostrophe is NEVER used to make something plural (meaning more than one).  "She has three sub's" is wrong, Wrong, WRONG!!!  "She has three subs."  An apostrophe shows ownership.  "Her sub's attitude is nice."  (Attitude is something that belongs to the sub.)

If those three very simple rules were followed (even if the few exceptions were missed), the quality of writing on The Internet would go up dramatically.  It really isn't hard.  Three rules.  Just three.  Of course, one must care about readers and have some self respect to care about such things.

END RANT (for now)


Note:  Cross-posted on Tumblr.

Old Yearnings, New Forrays

I've mentioned chastity so many times that both of my readers are likely getting tired of it.  If this describes you (or you, the other reader) then you might as well tune out now.  And not just for this post.  I'll be talking a bit about this for a while.

You see, I'm diving into a medium-scale experiment to dig deeper into what this is all about.  I've gone four to five days locked up in my CB-6000 before, and I do enjoy the emotional roller coaster, the sexual frustration, and the intensity of the drawn-out experience.  It's not something I'd like forever, mind you, but for a time, it's exciting.  There are aspects and angles I want to dive MUCH deeper on.

Solving Problems

There have been barriers in the past, and I'm searching for ways beyond them.  Some items I have had trouble dealing with in "the real world" -- and which never seem to come up in fantasy portrayals -- include:

Sleeping

Eventually nocturnal "activity" wakes me up in extreme agony.  This has threatened enough damage to sensitive orbs that I've called it off for this alone.  I'm trying a smaller ring to see if that helps keep things where they belong.

Exercise

I'm a cyclist and a runner.  Wearing a cage can be difficult for running, nearly impossible for cycling.  Since I'm a Time Trialist, the flat-back position is a non-starter for wearing anything "down there."  But I'm not riding much these days.  If I keep to running, wearing a device may be something that I can be acclimatized to over time.  I will have to give up the customary triathlon shorts for running since they hide NOTHING.

General Lifestyle

Having to sit down to urinate can be limiting since men's bathrooms are not set up for this.  Often there's only one stall, so it can be difficult to navigate the day.  Good thing I kicked the caffeine habit so I don't need to go fifteen times a day.

Shaving smooth and wearing a ring that holds everything in place is step one, and I'm already past that.  I'm test wearing the CB right now, increasing the time each day.  My hope is that in a couple of weeks I can stay locked up all day and night.  Then things start getting more interesting.

Next Steps

I'm looking around for a key safe.  If you aren't aware of how this works, the wearer of a chastity device puts the keys in a safe that can only be opened with remote permission.  The mechanism for this can vary, from needing the 8-digit combination, to someone else actually triggering the electromechanical locking mechanism via a command over the internet.  There are varying degrees of security, from viewing through a webcam to light, motion, and tamper sensors built into the safe.  Of course, the cost varies along with the sophistication and security; $50 to almost $600.  I'm playing at the $50 level right now.

The web site http://keysafe.org is where I have a profile right now, though if someone else has other options, I'd love to hear about it.  The site allows connecting with a keyholder and allowing them to control your keys (via the safe).  There are other features, too, but that's the gist.

I do want to find out more about what happens to me psychologically when I have been locked for a while.  I think I'll get very accommodating towards my keyholder.  It scares me a little thinking about the extent to which that might be true.  I'd better be careful choosing the individual to whom I turn over that power.  Haha.

I'm looking forward to this side-journey into play.  I'll keep both of you posted on how it goes and what twists and turns I go through along the way.