Two Things

I've been thinking a bit about the two elements of chastity: the physical and the emotional.

The physical can be very enjoyable.  I actually enjoy being locked up.  The hard casing can feel like cock armor, and the sensation of bondage is calming to a submissive soul.  But over time, it is the first and most obvious limiting factor.  Most of the difficulties I've outlined in my notes here are about overcoming the physical barriers.

Emotional is the true draw.  I like the notion of being sexually "kept" by a woman.  The power exchange is undeniably sexual and neatly disposes of tradition and stereotype.  The changes that come over a man kept in chastity provide a kaleidoscope of emotional swirl, a roller coaster ride that is hard for some few women to pass up.

So far, I've overcome all of the physical barriers and am pretty convinced that I can find a way to tolerate lock-up if motivated to do so.  Which leaves us with the emotional.  That code I have not yet cracked.  Having my key held by a person of the female persuasion is not enough.  I need to care about her and want her to get deep inside my head, because that is where she will end up as my vulnerability swells.

As usual, I have done the easy part first, and it wasn't all that easy.  One of the supremely enjoyable aspects of life, though, is progressing against what once appeared to be impossible.  Who knows... maybe one day I'll struggle with both physical and emotional stresses.  I look forward to that day.

QL

So What?

Business has been hopping lately, so I've been on the road a lot.  As "problems" go, that's a pretty nice one to have.  But my recent experiments with chastity have somewhat been put on hold.

But not entirely.

Last weekend I was locked most of the time, and I put my HT2 on last night when I got back from my most recent trip.  So, some activity.  But my goal of going a month is on the back burner for the moment.

One of the reasons is the whole "So What" question.  I've always viewed chastity as part of a power dynamic in a relationship, one way -- though NOT the only way -- that two people relate and connect.  It's (ironically) sexual and a way to enjoy D/s and localized bondage in public without involving anyone else.  It is one aspect of something larger, and the "something larger" is the point.  Once again, I have tools.

With my crazy travel schedule, I've been out on line recently with hopes of arranging to meet new people.  The response has been consistent with my previous experience, though not to my insane optimism:  crickets chirping.  No response.  At some point, Charlie Brown needs to stop trying to kick a field goal and realize that Lucy cares about the ball, not him.  It just IS.

But the optimism lives, and I'll find ways to meet actual human beings... I just don't know how yet.  In the mean time, I'm enjoying vanilla life tremendously and making LOADS of progress against personal projects, knocking things off of the "bucket list" almost as fast as I'm adding new line items.  Family visits are lined up on the calendar, hobbies scheduled out for months, and social events peppered throughout.  Life is good.

I refreshed my femme wardrobe recently and am enjoying it with a bit more confidence these days.  That feels good, almost care free.

The goal of a month locked up remains, though the purpose of that is unclear in my mind at the moment.  It's just something to work towards while I live my life.  When I get into that, I'm sure it will be all over these pages.  I'm interested in pushing boundaries.  Since I've knocked down so many of those so far, I feel like a few more need to be swept away.

Kind of a personal update, but there it is.  Be safe, everyone, and keep growing and expanding.