Slumps

I understand that people who make their livings through performances -- sports figures, actors, musicians -- occasionally go through slumps. For some period of time they just are not at their best. It would be tempting to draw out a curve of performance, overlay all sorts of possible triggers, and try to identify the "one thing" that caused the decrease in performance. Then it could be dealt with. But often it's not that simple. The human animal is complex and operates in an environment that is not entirely controllable.

Much has been written about the emotional angst men go through when they have a performance "slump." Most women are more understanding than their partners give them credit for, but a slump can bring tension into the relationship. When there is no past relationship trust to hang onto during a slump, however, then the situation takes on a more daunting pall.

There are two things happening in my life that are somewhat "new." First, I'm seeing someone for the first time in a very long time. It's fun and exciting and I think she's really wonderful in a whole host of ways. I'm mildly smitten, "going down like a bowling pin" as a friend humorously observes. And I'm enjoying it in a very relaxed way. But I'm also in the first slump I can ever remember in my entire life. The two facts seem to be on a collision course. For now I'm not in a hurry on the relationship front and she seems fine with that. But at some point the slump will have to be a vague historical fact or there will be a very awkward situation.

All I can do is cut back on the exercise a little, keep eating right, increase my sleep a bit, and find time to relax and not work until 11:00 at night. This, too, shall pass. I just hope it does so without causing any real problems. Anxiety is not a solution.

*sigh*

Maybe I get off on being lonely. Then I'd have a fetish of one.

I'm off to sacrifice a chicken before the big game.

Quietlisten

Frustration at Not Being Frustrated

There are two parts to this post... the technical and the emotional.

The Technical:

In my quest to improve the CB-6000 for longer-term wear, I've made some improvements. These include smoothing out some rough edges (which get amplified 1000x after a couple of days of rubbing in the same place), sealing a couple of leaks in the seam of the cage, and ordering a set of KSD-3G "units." These are little "tongues" of silicone that lock on the to main pin and make the cage slightly smaller in height. At the end of the tongue, though, is a ridge which is catches the back of the coronal ridge of the penis head and prevents extraction. This keeps the head from moving backward. The intent is to make pulling out harder (security), but I'm hoping it keeps everything positioned so that general daily wear is easier. One of the problems it is supposed to help with is night wear, something I've had problems with.

The Emotional:

I was really looking forward to trying the fixed-up and improved device over this long weekend. But the KSD-G3 order seemed to just STOP half way across the country. I had tracking turned on and watched it ship and move (isn't technology wonderful) then... no progress for several days. Okay, so I didn't pay for super-duper there-in-ten-minutes shipping. It's only a $35 item. But I had hoped that things would go reasonably smoothly and I'd get to play this weekend. Instead, though, I got to play with myself. How terrible! Haha.

The shipment should be here in the next few days. I can just see having to go to the post office and having them ask "what's in the package?" "Oh, it's a flapper seal for a fuel pump." Riiiiiiight.

I like how my mind changes when I'm denied for a little bit. I think there's a balance, though, between chastity and release. Yes, it would be nice if that schedule was in the hands of someone I loved who could monitor and cajole, but for now I'll just have to do things myself. I don't want to just lock it on and forgo all pleasure forever, just "charge up" the interesting bits a little.

I'll let everyone know how things go when the improvements are in place.

Quietlisten
(Cross-posted to http://collarncuffs.com)