Closure

I had a wonderful burrito Tuesday night at "our" favorite place. We dated for over a year, formed a bond, cared for each other. But we've been drifting for a long time, not able to find a foothold to move forward together and not ready to say goodbye. We agreed a while back to see other people. My people have been kinky, something she didn't understand and really wasn't curious about. Hers, I would guess, have been a lot like me, only no kink displayed or discussed, if even dreamed. I'm very happy that we were open about that.

It was inevitable that one of us would find someone to fill that void in our lives. She has. While I really am happy for her to have found a direction and found a companion, closure is hard. She tried very hard to make it less so, and I appreciate that. I gave her the few things of hers that had remained at my place and she did the same. I gave her one item that meant a lot to her and got a beaming smile at the meaning of the gesture. We'll see each other again, but it will be very different.

The questions in my head are calming because they don't matter anymore. She's a wonderful person, I've been lucky to have her in my life, and I'm already turning towards my own future and the possibilities it holds. I'm kinky and I need kinky people close to me. I know that where I end up on this path will be much more "me" than the path I just left. But that path had its charms and it was very good to me.

Quick Opinion Poll

Hypothetical situation... a thought experiment, if you will. You have to make a choice:

1. You get to enjoy a full set of sexual feelings and experiences, but there's a good chance you'll have cancer by the time you're 65.

2. You live with diminished urges and drive, but your chances of cancer are significantly lower, and there's a good chance you'll live to 80 or beyond.

Delayed choice or no choice is the same as selecting item 2.

What do you choose? Why? What are the impacts to your life? To those around you?

Just trying to stir up the pot a little. Please comment.

Thanks!
Quietlisten

Out of Circulation

Is there anything sexier than long, soulful moans? How about being in a state that precludes movement? Pain that feels like it goes to the bone? Feelings of being in an altered mental state?

Given those definitions, I've been the sexiest man alive for the past week. Unfortunately, I have also been wracked with coughs, draggingly tired, and desperately downing hot fluids to replace the beige gunk that has been coming out of chest and sinus in improbable quantities. For some reason I have had no fever. The rest of the symptoms have been classic, and they match those displayed by one particular person at work. Yes, at work. Not home in bed, recovering, but at work. I'm not bitter, really.

At this point I'm tired of being tired, hacked off at coughing all the time, and ready to sound like someone is NOT specifically choking the life out of me when I answer the phone. I'm so over self-quarantine, cabin fevered into going out to get food just to go out. Just to make it clear how much I want to be past this, I'm looking forward to working tomorrow. I'd rather face the B.S. and plow through the piles of steaming stinking politics than spend another day face-to-the-pillow imagining my T-cells having foreign DNA for lunch, snacks, dinner, nightcaps, etc.

I'm ready to have my sexual confusion back, to be my usual not-quite-fitting-in self, to ponder how to move forward and how delightful and stupid BDSM social life is. I'm almost there, the caustic ring to this note will testify. And by next weekend I hope I'm back in form, or back in my usual form of form.

Viva kink! Viva... well... me. Again. Soon. Very, very soon.