Self respect and being "Dominant"

Note: This is cross-posted from my journal on Collarspace.com (ID: Quietlisten). I wrote it to be deliberately incendiary to see if ANYTHING can cut through the shockingly thick matted tangle of dreck that permeates every bit of that site. I thought I'd drop it here just so I could hear from more thoughtful people. I didn't soften it to for a more rational audience, though.


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Do "dominants" expect submissives to respect them more than they do themselves? Many, many do. Here are a few signs of self respect:

1. Not smoking. Anyone who claims to be dominant and smokes either has no will or no brain. I'll let the individual smoker pick their excuse. Smoking is expensive suicide that damages others along the way.

2. Fitness. Eat right and exercise. Shut up with the fad diets and the excuses. Nobody is responsible for your body but you. I can tell at a glance if someone has messed-up personal priorities simply by their physical condition. What you think you're worth is reflected in your level of fitness. We all get 24 hours in a day. Some use that well. Some watch TV and eat crap.

3. Financial Security. Granted, "security" in today's world is difficult, but making stupid decisions, spending on stupid things (like cigarettes), and not building towards financial independence (i.e. saving) makes you financially dependent and subservient to others.

4. Truth. Admitting mistakes, taking responsibility, and digging for the truth sets one free from the tyranny of self deception and lying.

5. Compassion. I get that some dominants are sadistic, but being so without compassion is the definition of a sociopath.

Most "dominants" I have met are not dominant at all. In fact, many are just insecure, mean, and thoughtlessly uncompromising. They find in "the lifestyle" convenient cover for neuroses and weakness, and they prey on those who are desperate to please and may have their own psychological problems.

Why would a self-possessed, successful, and capable submissive serve someone who doesn't respect themselves? No idea. This one doesn't.

I've probably pissed off both people who will read that list. Someone may feel a need to "straighten me out" on some or all. But that won't change the facts. We all suffer temporary lapses on one or all of those points. But in my opinion, fundamentally giving up on points of self respect is equivalent to giving up on claims of being "dominant." Conquer yourself before you go after others.

I honestly wish there were more people who demonstrated more self respect.

QL