Haunted

I recently took a trip during which I was constantly on the move, didn't have much internet access, and typically had no privacy.  It was a great (and rare) laboratory experiment for what endures between my ears over time.  So what do I think about when completely away from the virtual world and daydreaming is all the "sex" I get?  Mostly no surprise, but there is a bit of a twist at the end.

First and foremost, I enjoy being polite, supportive, and deferential to capable women.  I value confidence (not bitchiness, which is a clear sign of a lack of confidence), and competence.  This holds true in general, across the spectrum of life, but is particularly highlighted when my mind turns to sexuality.  Capable women are just HOT.  The nicest outfit without the chutzpah behind it is just a silly costume.  Respect is the greatest aphrodisiac.

Secondly, I have sex with my mind, not my genitals.  This is true for everyone at some level, but I'm kind of off the scale in this regard.  I need to have my brain fucked.  Hard.  I'm a fan of power play in many forms, not so much sadomasochism.  I'm more turned on by having an emotional button pushed than by traditional sex.

These are topics that I have covered ad nauseum in other articles here.  So what's the "twist?"  Well, it's somewhat of a cascade of thoughts and emotions:

1.  I crave the mind-fuck of chastity.  Being locked up is a very sexual power dynamic.  But after three days, I'm getting emotionally vulnerable, too.  After five days, I'm desperate and totally in the power of the keyholder.  I love the feeling of being helpless to someone like that, to being sexually charged and emotionally stripped... and both of us knowing it.

2.  Here's the twist:  I have been really liking the idea of a female-open relationship.  Cuckolding.  With me locked up and mostly providing oral pleasure, she has the freedom to get laid.  I've already established that I like being emotionally supportive while also knowing that she is sexually empowered.  Many women really like traditionally masculine men, and I would need to know that her sexual needs were taken care of.   I absolutely cannot be "one of many," but I can see myself being in a loving primary relationship in which she can and does seek sex from others when she wishes or feels the need.

So, while I was gone, I fantasized incessantly about being a woman's faithful cuckold, earning the privilege of being locked up by her.  Yes, this may be a bit divorced from reality (cuckolding is a highly volatile topic in a real relationship and is difficult to execute well), and it intersects with other fantasies I have had (cross dressing / maid service).  But it's what has been haunting me for a while now.  I'm enjoying thinking about it, even if it's far from reality at the moment.

I fantasized about being who I am, not what society tells me I should be.  What do YOU think about when you are away from your typical comforts and rafts of social expectations?