Friday, July 17, 2009

It's NOT Chastity

I was doing some mundane paperwork this morning when it dawned on me that what I am experimenting with at the moment is NOT chastity. It's been far too long since I've been with somebody I cared about, so I've BEEN chaste. I've been way too chaste for way too long, and there has been no barrier beyond my own personal decisions to make that true.

What I'm really playing with is sexual control, symbolism, masturbating the brain by not masturbating the external bits. It's a sense of being locked up even while out in public that has me interested. Perhaps I need the sense that not everything is about my own physical enjoyment. I LIKE to think that I'm building a skill that a fairly vanilla (though open-minded) woman might find attractive. But I get something out of it, too. The details of that are only slowly coming visible.

But the chastity is self-imposed and not entirely connected to the device. That's probably obvious to everyone but me.

Quietlisten

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