In The Groove

There's really not a ton to post today.  I'm getting through my days just fine with some minor adjustments here and there.   I trimmed neatly before putting the cage on, so there is slightly less "padding," but that doesn't seem to have changed much about the experience.

I did run this morning, a bit shy of 6.5 miles.  But now that's nothing new.  I'm actually quite comfortable locked.

Emotionally, Day 3 is when the struggle begins.  It hits peak on Day 5.  If I post, it will likely be about that.  Since I've never gone more than a week, I don't know what happens to my brain after that length of time.  It will be interesting to find out.  It kind of feels like just waiting right now.

Perhaps that will change.

Testing, Testing... 1, 2, 3....

I registered my safe with the Keysafe site and they were really quick in getting my account set up.  My keys are locked in the safe and only Strict Mistress has the combination now.  I've forgotten it.  I remember that there are two 4s towards the end.  If I really wanted to remember, I could do it.  But I specifically don't.

The current lockdown period is only for three days or so... not a huge deal.  I also brought a manual key and the safe itself on this trip -- nice to be driving and not flying -- just in case there are problems.  Baby steps.  But my hope is that I can extend my time if all is going well and get the feel of not having the keys quickly accessible.  I'll also vet out the safe and the site to make sure I know how everything works prior to giving up more control for longer.

Interesting journey.  I didn't think I'd make it this far, but here I am.  And craving more, too.  Yikes!  How deep is the rabbit hole?

I'm IN!

What am I thinking?  I mean... why lock myself back in this contraption?  Oh, but my insanity gets even better.

Today I bought an actual programmable lockbox that will act as my keysafe.  Yes, I can pry the thing open without using the combination, but I can get out of the actual chastity device if so motivated, too.  It's a matter of scale of effort and what I care about.  The safe can take an 8-digit combination, so I'll likely use it in conjunction with the keysafe.org web site... what they call their "Model 50" safe.  There is only one person there (automated keyholders excepted) that I care to give my keys to.  And we haven't really discussed it yet.  So this is mostly my little experiment.

I'm shooting for two weeks this time, doubling my previous record.  Not sure why that is appealing to me, but it is.  I'll keep everyone informed as to my journey, though daily updates are not very likely.

Baby steps.

Next Steps

I've spent the weekend out of the HT2, and I have to say that for some activities that is a huge relief.  Surprisingly, running doesn't seem to be a problem, though I have had to stop wearing triathlon shorts for that... baggy works better.  I did, however, spend a lot of time doing yard work in old jeans.  Old jeans shrink, and there is a lot of bending over while doing yard work.  So, not good for wearing a device that might just crush things that shouldn't be crushed.  I could probably find a way to live with it -- wearing baggy shorts, for instance -- but there is a reason I wear old jeans while doing things like clearing brush... they protect.

The past couple of days have taught me that the feelings towards women that I have while locked are different than the ones I have while not.  It's not a difference between "better" or "worse," it's just a different tint.  When I'm locked up, I feel more comfortable NOT pursuing in a directly sexual way, as if I've been relieved of social expectations of "maleness."  I feel like I want to support and appreciate more, and more broadly.  And I feel a lovely, pervasive sense of deference.

That's not to say that sexual attraction goes away, in fact in one sense it intensifies greatly.  I'm a huge fan of the female form and all things feminine.  By about Day 5 of being locked up, every hourglass figure snatches my attention regardless of any attempt to concentrate on something else.  A whiff of perfume or a nice pair of shoes or hair tucked behind the ear can send all mental activity off of thoughtful rails and into the chaotic ravine of built-up tension.  I really, really enjoy being that manipulable, feeling the cage remind me that I am in a sexual prison.  There is a background neediness that pervades every aspect of thought.

Chastity is sexual control, hopefully quite caring.  It is also a way to bend the mind using the sex drive and open new ways of relating and interacting with women.  It can also be a direct tool for punishment and reward, though whether extending lockup time represents "punishment" or "reward" depends a lot on circumstance and relationship between keyholder and locked.  But just as a side note, it is NOT a way to make orgasms more mind-blowing; it does take one or two orgasms to get all functions working like normal.

So far, I have retained control of my keys.  I suspect that a keyholder would command some part of my mind and sexual identity in a very profound way.  It's not clear to me how that "bubble of control" would make me see the world around me, or how I would feel about my keyholder immediately or over time.  I think I would enjoy the sense of needy deference, the very real power she would have over me.  This is something I would like to explore more with someone who was interested in me as a person.

To date, I have only been locked up for a week.  That's not a lot of time in chastity terms.  I was experiencing some slight soreness from the ring of the device, but I doubt that could not be overcome.  I have fears about prostate health and ability to function long term if I partake in chastity more regularly... or a lot.  So, I'll do some reading and figure out what boundaries make sense.

There hasn't really been a point to this note yet.  So I'll just try to wrap it up:  chastity play is more possible than I thought, and I am hoping to dive deeper into it.  Who knows how deeply the rabbit hole goes?  This evening, there may be a *click* sound with no idea when the *unclick* might happen.

I'm OUT!

I woke up this morning thinking about taking the cage off.  Some of that was, as one would expect, excitement at the prospect of enjoying an erection and orgasm again, but some was also extreme interest in the condition of all the parts that have been caged up.

The punchline:  I'm fine.  There was some irritation where the ring was continually pulled against the back of the scrotum, but that was known and expected.  Also, a small patch of black appeared on one side of the head of my penis.  This seemed to rub off and could have been residue inside the plastic when I put it on.  (Yes, I cleaned the device before stuffing myself into it, but who knows what got in there as I tried to get it on.)  But overall, everything was fine.  No bruising, no creasing, and no pinching.  All is well.

I had some concerns about how my "package" stood away from the body during attempts at erections, but as soon as the cage was off, everything was "back to normal."  So my worries are kind of taken care of.

Yes, I did "exercise my prostate."  Yes, it felt good.  But it wasn't earth-shattering in the way that fiction says it will be.  In fact, it was slightly (though really not much) more difficult than usual, a fact that has me wondering about long-term effects.  As I've mentioned before, I have a lot to learn.  But I did feel an incredible sensation of relief and probably need to do this again at least once before I consider any further lockdown time.

I'm going to give everything a day or so to recover before I decide what to do next.  Fact is, I'm not sure.  But I'm not going to decide right now.

Stay tuned.

One More Day

Another night, mostly without event.  I only had to get up one time, so maybe the multiple-non-erection thing reached a peak.  The skin under the ring was a little sore around the bottom this morning.  I'm not sure why.  I have noticed that driving is not 100% comfortable, and I was on the road for several hours yesterday.

One more day until I take the device off, inspect, clean, and figure out what to do next.  I'm conflicted on whether to just lock back up and keep going or take a break from chastity.  On the one hand, having an orgasm is much on my mind lately.  (Wonder why?)  On the other, there are pleasures to chastity that are pretty amazing, too.  I very much enjoy the feeling of helplessness to all things feminine, power amplified by being just out of reach.  And the sensation of submission that being locked in a cage provides is really, really nice.

But there are health considerations, too.  A guy should not go too long without an orgasm, or at least exercising the prostate.  I have not figured out how to do that yet.  Last night's experiments were unfruitful even if I was emitting a bit on my own regardless.  I have a lot to learn about keeping up good health while locked.  I don't want to do any permanent damage.

If I do lock back up, I would like to start thinking of ways to not be in total control of the keys.  I have been carrying a key on my car key ring due to fear that "anything can happen at any time."  As I learn that I can wear this device for longer periods of time, though, I won't really need to have that with me all the time.  But what to do with the keys?  An emergency out is just smart, but having it close at hand at all times is unnecessary and kind of defeats the point.

Okay, I'm off on my work day.  Any thoughts from my many millions of readers would be appreciated.

It's Good To Be Home

I'm home from my trip, and very happy to be here.  It's always nice to wander around and not worry about other people being around.

The only real update is that I was somewhat tormented during the drive, my mind wandering to erotic topics repeatedly.  Day 5 seems to be a toughy and has been before when I've abstained for that long.  I stopped to go to the bathroom several times without problems, and the slight chaffing from sitting in the car for that long isn't terrible.  Oddly, though, it's worse than running.

The automated "keyholder" site time limit has passed, so I've completed my "commitment" there.  I'm kind of leaving that alone for now.  I need to experiment with it some more, but without a safe that's controlled by the site, it's not really that interesting.

I have been having "emissions" since I got home.  For kicks, I spooled up some titillating images -- for me that means smartly-dressed women who look capable and authoritative -- and that definitely made the situation "worse."  Shocker.  Poor me.

Still planning to hold out until Saturday to set a new personal record, then decide what to do next.  I need to figure out how to keep the plumbing healthy if I do this much more, and I have to have a compelling reason to interest me.  Not sure what I'll do yet.

But I do think the big hurdles have been overcome.  Now, being locked up is just a "fact of life."

Good to be home.